If you raised 'em right.....

The Scene: In the parking lot of Publix. We stopped to get some limes at about 8pm. The kids were really too tired but we decided to risk it.

Dramatis Personae: Me, Joe (my husband), Allison, Frances, Some Random Woman (SRW)

Joe: Come on Allison. Hold my hand.
Allison: I want to hold Mama's hand.
Joe: Okay, she's right there.
Me: Come on, Chicky.
Allison: I want to ride in the big cart!
Me: Well, if we're going to use a cart, let's use this one right here.
Allison: No, the other kind!
Me: Come on, Allison. This one is good enough.
Me: Here, sit next to Frances..
Frances: Goo!
Allison: No! WAAAAAAHHH.
Me: Okay, dude. Knock it off. Listen. Stop crying now, or we'll go home and you're not going to get to play with your puzzle. (Aside: I promised her she could play with the puzzle)
Allison: I wanna do my puzzle! WAAAAAHHH.
Me: Last chance. Stop crying or we go home.
Allison: Huh uhuh uhuh uhuh. *we talk about five feet*
Allison: WAHHHHHH.
*Two women walking by roll their eyes at us*
Joe: I'll just take her back to the car.
Joe: Allison, you are being very naughty.
Joe: No bedtime treat and no puzzle when we get home.
Allison: NOOOO! I WANNA GO TO THE STORE! WAAAHHH!
Frances: uhhhhh waaaaa! waaaaa!
Me: O my goodness.
Me: Let's all just go. *putting the baby on my hip*

Enter, SRW, putting groceries in her car. She looks at me, then at Allison.

SRW: Hmmmph!
SRW: Shut. Up.
Me: Um. Excuse me?
Me: What did you just say?
SRW: Well!
Me: No. You do not tell my child to shut up.
Me: We are taking her back to the car.
Me: What else do you want?
SRW: Well, if you raised 'em right!
Me: *now in an elevated tone of voice* What are you talking about?
Me: We are taking her back to the car because she's having a tantrum.
SRW: but..
Me: No, I don't think people in the store should have to deal with this, which is why we aren't even going into the store.
Me: We're taking her to our car.
Me: We're in the parking lot, for crying out loud.
Me: *now in a very elevated tone of voice* I have a right to be here.
SRW: OMG, What is wrong with you?
SRW: Why are you yelling at me?
Me: *now in both an elevated voice and pointing a finger* Because you do NOT get to tell my CHILD to SHUT UP.
SRW: *muttering*
Me: *Returning cart with baby still on hip* No, you do not tell my child to shut up.

The scene ends as SRW moves toward the store to get away from me, seeming very shaken and a little frightened. She stands at a distance and watches to see what I'll do next. I get in the car and drive away. As we're pulling away, I see SRW in the rearview moving slowly toward her car.

I think she'll think twice before she does something like that again.

This is the lesson for everyone. Hold your tongue. Every mother you meet bears the weight of every eyeroll, every snarky comment, every time she's been escorted to a public restroom to breastfeed, every friend, family member, and every stranger who feels s/he has the right to judge. We remember all of it. Keep that in mind the next time you feel like rolling your eyes, sighing, huffing, making a comment, giving unsolicited advice or otherwise judging a mother's competence based on a single interaction. Just don't. You never know when one of us might snap and ream you out in a public place.

My mama raised me right.