How to sell your house

Receive Ridicuously Low Offer

Counteroffer

Receive no longer ridiculously low but still pretty fricking low and not much higher than the original ridiculously low counter counter offer

Verbally counter offer and float the idea that if they take it, we'd consider paying closing costs.

Receive buyer's final verbal offer.

Agree verbally, making sure she realizes that at this price, we are not fixing anything that turns up in the inspection.

All parties agree.

Wait for paperwork.

UPDATED: okay, we're all signed and sealed and bound. Inspection is Tuesday and we'll close in a month. I can now mess up my house and start packing stuff. Woohoo!